Seriously the personal mind games I play with myself. I think I spoke too soon with my previous email.
So today at work I started cramping. Good old uterine irritation - no bleeding, just the familiar cramp. So then I analyzed and realized that with everything I know about gynecology - I have no idea what is going on inside that uterus of mine.
My first thought was - must get off my feet - this is bad. Although if the pregnancy is not taking - there's nothing I can do about it, and if I'm cramping because nothing implanted - well then its not there anyway.
Second thought was maybe the little embie is just digging itself in and growing which would be recruiting all sorts of blood vessels to the area. Then I thought that maybe that should have already happened.
Third thought was that I have officially moved into crazytown. This was my smartest thought of the night. There is certain level of obsessiveness that his disease imparts and I have certainly reached the threshold. Goodness knows what an anxious pregnant woman I will be - that seems to be the only thing I am certain of at this point.
I think you know too much! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think crazytown is the most likely. :) Between the obsessiveness of IF that makes the rest of us think we know what's going on with our bodies and the fact that you ACTUALLY know what's going on with WAY too much detail it's a guaranteed trip!! :) Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteKnowing too much is the absolute worst thing in the world. The phrase "ignorance is bliss" comes to mind. One of the things that held be back from doing IVF was my knowledge.
ReplyDeleteYou're not in crazy town, or if you are, we're all in it with you! Keeping you in my thoughts!!
Yup, I agree with the others - you know too much. Even those of us who don't have degrees to support it know too much at times.
ReplyDeleteAll logic, knowledge and previous observations are null and void at this point. This is the best surprise life can offer... of course, that is when the results are +++. Otherwise, it's continued life tortures from something we've surely done in a previous life :)
i so love ur blog , reading ur story keeps me a bit optimistic in all of this.
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