Seriously the personal mind games I play with myself. I think I spoke too soon with my previous email.
So today at work I started cramping. Good old uterine irritation - no bleeding, just the familiar cramp. So then I analyzed and realized that with everything I know about gynecology - I have no idea what is going on inside that uterus of mine.
My first thought was - must get off my feet - this is bad. Although if the pregnancy is not taking - there's nothing I can do about it, and if I'm cramping because nothing implanted - well then its not there anyway.
Second thought was maybe the little embie is just digging itself in and growing which would be recruiting all sorts of blood vessels to the area. Then I thought that maybe that should have already happened.
Third thought was that I have officially moved into crazytown. This was my smartest thought of the night. There is certain level of obsessiveness that his disease imparts and I have certainly reached the threshold. Goodness knows what an anxious pregnant woman I will be - that seems to be the only thing I am certain of at this point.