The time bombs on my chest

My mother was 42 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Being that most cases of breast cancer are sporadic it is unlikely that I have any genetic predisposition, but that doesn't make me any less paranoid.

I have an irrational fear of breast cancer.  I will take all sorts of the other illnesses I have seen but I just don't want to have to go through what she did.  Maybe it is because she was dying at a time from her breast while mine were developing, but I just don't have a feminine emotional attachment to the lumps of fat that sit on my chest.

So I have been referred in for genetic counseling and possible genetic testing and thus I ask myself - do I really want to know right now?  Now before I go through more crazy hormones and then 9 months of even crazier hormones?  Do I want to be paranoid about breast cancer in pregnancy?  If I do have some gene am I going to have preimplantation genetic diagnosis to possibly save my children from this paranoid delusional behavior?

Ignorance is bliss - and I know too much already.  Since I'm in my vacation from fertility treatments I am trying to catch up on all those things that I should have been doing in the past year - I cant say this is all more important to me - but it does have some pretty big implications.