I see one of his very wonderful underlings (who is fantastic in her own right) and she reviews my case from time to time with him. Apparently he just bows his head, shakes it back and forth and just mutters the words "we have to get her pregnant". So anyway - this time, not only was their head shaking, but he brought my case up for review with all my REI colleagues.
There are times where my privacy has been completely screwed by this process. The run-ins with other physicians as I am am being roomed as a patient, the fact that that I was mis-scheduled with one of my department heads (he didn't know but was very confused as to why I was on his schedule), my name popping up as the first appointment of each day so that is ANYONE I work with opens the main clinic schedule - there I am. Plus, there are simply more people I work with have seen my vagina than I care to admit.
This however was no invasion of privacy at all. Even though I feel like an absolute failure, I am really happy they discussed my case- it feels good to have so many brilliant opinions in my care. Its nice to know that its not that I am just being impatient but that they actually believe that a) I can actually get pregnant and that b) they are a little surprised that I haven't done so already.
So anyway what they came up with was that this cycle we are pushing the system a bit harder to try to get me a good follicle on the correct side this time. Go big or go home I guess. Unfortunately we may have to cancel if we get to many - because I certainly don't want higher order multiples (and I think everyone in the department would be pretty peeved if our REIs gave me anything that would put me on bedrest - nobody likes covering my clinics) .
So my REI calls this cycle the "hail mary" (and I always appreciate a good football reference). Figuratively I am the wide receiver running towards the endzone and my team is down by 5 with about 11 seconds on the clock. If the throw is good and I make the catch I can win the game without IVF. But all the hope is into this single play and the fans are all holding their breath. Theres only one chance left before the twenty thousand dollar petrie dish.
So here we go - come on underdog!! Only a small chance I'm going to win this game but if so its going to be a thrilling finish.