not sure how to title this rant

As a patient I realize how absolutely frustrating it can be to have an emergency and not be able to get in touch with a physician that can help you.  For this reason, as a doctor I give out my phone number to any patients I operate on or see in the emergency room.

My colleagues have warned me against this - they certainly don't do it - they don't want to be called in their off time.  Plus there is always someone who thinks its okay to call at 11:30 pm because thats what time they go to bed.   But overall most people are respectful and I have usually found my patients to be very appreciative of this.

So today, after I peed on another one line stick, I am having a private moment of cathartic crying, and of course because it is inopportune, my pager goes off.  I call back the number trying to stifle back tears, but of course there is a message that "this subscriber does not allow blocked numbers."  Can't even leave a message without exposing my cellphone to the world, and if there is something that I feel is a violation of my privacy its when people call me on my cell.  (my phone is for my friends to call - not like I have that many, but still.)

So anyway, I get in touch with the patient and CVS wont fill a prescription without a number that they can clearly look up.  So in the middle of a very personal moment where I am trying to work out some deep seeded issues, I have to put on the professional face and make 10 minutes of phone calls to be put on hold 3 times before CVS will take down the number.

There is something about a good cry that afterward you at least feel a little better.  But with this kind of interruption - I am pretty much going to be depressed all day.  (or week or month)

So thank you fate for helping me to fail yet again.  Thank you CVS and phone carriers for interrupting the only time I could give myself to deal with this.  Thank you progesterone for making me an emotional basket case.  Thank you diet for not allowing me to go and feed the feelings with calories.  Thank you pain, for being the one constant I can depend on now.

I am thankful to all these things for ensuring that the first day off I have had in a while will be miserable.

This blows.