Tuesday, March 8, 2011

How babies are made

One day I will have a child and when I answer the questions how babies are made, I imagine it may look something like this:

Well . . . when a mommy and daddy really love each other and want to have a baby they do lots of things to make that baby.  Mommy takes lots of shots for an awful long time to get ready for a baby and that makes mommy kind of crazy.  One day, when mommy and daddy really have to work that day, they get up at 5 am together, eat breakfast and then mommy gives daddy a cup.  Daddy takes the cup into the bathroom for a while and comes back with the cup that now has magical seeds in them.

Then mommy puts the cup with the seeds into her shirt so the seeds will stay warm, kisses daddy goodbye and runs out the door forgetting half of the things she needed that day.  She then drives to the doctors office being very careful not to get pulled over because getting pulled over that day would be really bad.  Once she gets to the doctors office, there she hands the seeds to a nice man who washes them for a whole 45 minutes and counts them one by one until he counts into the millions.  The doctor then puts the seeds in mommy and she lays there and plays word warp on her i phone for 20 minutes.  Then mommy stands up and most of the seeds fall out and keep falling out all day but she hopes that one will stay where it was put.

And then mommy and daddy wait for weeks to see if a seed decided to sprout while mommy eats lots and lots of food.  Mommy then pees on little sticks that make her cry, and usually mommy ends up crying for many many days when she has to wear a diaper because she has lots of problems keeping her pants clean.  But one day one of the seeds finally decided to plant itself and it grows for nine and a half months and turns into a baby!

AND THATS HOW BABIES ARE MADE. (or hopefully how my babies will be made)

On a personal note - IUI was today.  The little follicle was rarin' to go so we did it.  (and by "do it" I mean in the completely clinical sense as above).  I guess whats done is almost done - GOOOO SWIMMERS!


  1. Cheering for the swimmers to do their job :) Love the story - saw a great kids book at the IVF clinic the other day - to tell kids "how they're made" by IVF... was very cute but not as funny as your version :)) xo

  2. LOL!! Love the humour! Good luck with your IUI this cycle...take care!

  3. Yeah, sounds about right!

    C'mon little spermie guys!! Go find the egg!!

  4. Swim babies, SWIM!!!!!!! Best of luck :)

  5. Hoping this is your time!! Good luck!!

  6. HAH! I love this so much! Good luck with the 2ww.