I went out last night with my husband and some good friends and one of my recently single guy-friends posed this question to me "How do you find and meet an sophisticated women?"
First of all I will take infertility any day with my husband over being without him. Not that I minded being single - but until I met the hubbie, quality men were so difficult to find. I have to admit I have pretty high standards for intelligence in a partner, which may knock out about 95% of the population. In addition to that I din't want anyone who was so smart they couldn't communicate in an intelligent fashion. (that knocked out another 4%). This coupled with all sorts of other issues (exclude workaholics, alcoholics and fitness gurus) meant that there were not a lot of people left. The fact that I met my husband at all was just dumb luck. I think it is the entire reason fate brought me to the medical school that made me so miserable for so long - but it was worth it.
So, getting back on track . . . .
At first I thought about my analogous where to meet sophisticated men? I had some ideas but alumni football viewing parties and softball teams but these didn't seem to translate to meeting women. And then I thought about it further . . .Where do you meet WOMEN, and secondly why don't I have any girlfriends anymore?
I realized GAGGLES of women engage in friendships spawned by their children. There are mommy clubs, and ways to meet other women in the same age/communities IF you have kids. And somehow, having kids gives people enough common ground that they open themselves up to complete strangers, and friendships begin.
But where do women without children go? Where are all the educated women that I could find something in common with? OH right . . . . they are doing what I am doing . . . working more than full time to build their career. (Sure some intelligent women may have the financial capacity to stay home and be a housewife - but I wouldn't have much in common with them anyway)
I very much miss having friends outside of work. My friends at work are great - but the conversation completely revolved around work at all times. I miss being able to have an intelligent conversation about art or politics or movies or life. Any good friends that I have had in recent years all moved out of the area for their jobs, and while I keep in touch, I miss having someone to call up and go shopping or out to lunch with. For several years I have wondered how to make new friends. It seems like a skill I once had a lot of experience with that is now dead. I am a very friendly and nice person, but I don't know where to meet sophisticated women. Not for me, and not to give advice to my guy-friend.
So anyway - I am up for ideas for him and for me! Until then, thanks to all my infertility friends out there. I wish we could meet up for lunch :)