Sushi, red wine and fried salami

In my best Alex Trebek voice:
    "what are 3 things I will sorely miss if I get pregnant but that I am enjoying right now?"

I am currently in the "screw you cycle two" mode.  Okay - its not really cycle 2 - but its only confirmed ovulation #2 since 9/09.  I am not sure if this is more of a success or more of a failure.  Have I not conceived because I have only plopped out eggs twice or am I bigger failure because I cant plop them out in the first place?

Silly ploppage.

So as my official end to this cycle (with another negative pregnancy test just to prove it/rub it in) I am going out with a bang.  Last night - BIG glass of wine.  This morning - fried salami (sounds terrible but is the best thing ever - just put it in a pan and cook it like bacon - grease leaches out and ends up crispy and salty).  Tonight - raw mercury filled fish at a fun little sushi spot - maybe with some sake.

Okay so I know I am still not supposed to have the fish because of mercury buildup and blah blah blah . . . but there are way more self destructive things I could be doing.  I love seafood.  3/4 of my family descends from fishing villages - it is ingrained in my DNA.

So I tonight I will absorb a little more mercury into my life as I look back at this cycle and flip it off.  I will be back on a strict regimen of carb control in a matter of days, but for now pure hedonism.  In the past couple of days I have experienced the disappointment, the anger and the sadness.  So I am taking this derailed train and putting it back on a new track.  I must remember that life is not about the destination but enjoying the journey - although I may not be so positive when the bleeding starts.