Today I put myself back into place.
Things are always harder when depressed. Harder to go to work, harder to relax when home, harder to sleep, harder to wake up. I have been very easily annoyed lately by all the people in my life that are undergoing the life changes of parenthood.
I try to be a supportive friend. I reassure as much as I can, but I can't get whole heartedly behind it because frankly I am a bit jealous and even though it is hard on them now, in the end I know they will both be just fine. Then I went to work today . . .
One of my non-medical acquaintances was initially diagnosed with a really aggressive cancer and it just came back.
So I ended my little pity party because I remember that I am healthy and I have a good life no mater if I am unsatisfied with my inability (so-far) to become a parent. I apologize to the world for being selfish lately and I promise to be better. Those little things that I thought were so hard are not hard at all . . . maybe I am just a wimp but I have no real excuse to be depressed right now. So I have jumped up, brushed myself off and am back on the horse. I will be praying for my friend but will take her example and celebrate what I do have.