Made it to 36 weeks - at this point I am asking for nothing from fate when it comes to this pregnancy except for #1 healthy baby and #2 the ability to have an epidural.
I am kind of in shock that I am still pregnant. The other night after several hours of regular painful contractions I finally fell asleep when they slowed down. I probably should have gone in but I was so exhausted that I just passed out. When I woke up my belly was smaller again. Her previous kicks in the ribs are now slightly above my belly button again. (Poor little head must be so squished cuz I know my bladder is.)
I am now so in tune with my uterus, I've realized that I have 4 different levels of contractions. (although really I sometimes wish I was one of those people that had them and didn't feel them . . . but I digress)
Level 1: ooohh thats a bit tight, maybe I should pee.
Level 2: uuumph that hurts (but still able to talk), will go pee.
Level 3: ahhh, I can't breathe, must pee now
Level 4: can't talk but somehow explicatives exiting my mouth, who cares about peeing
And . . . I am sure there is a 5th level that I just haven't gotten to yet :)
Anyway - this is just further fuel for the fire that my reproductive system is somewhat broken - my husband has witnessed enough of these runs to be as shocked as I that baby is still inside. I'm in antenatal testing because of some previous minor issues and the nurses just stare at the runs of contractions and the breathing and wincing and ask me if maybe I need to go to labor and delivery. (My response is that I am better than my baseline and since they know me they let it go!) Maybe I am just the largest wimp on the planet but when I had my big belly surgery I took no pain medications for the first 24 hours so I am not sure that is the case.
So defying all common sense of the teachings of obstetrics - I remain pregnant and thankful. Now just waiting for something to happen and ready for it when it comes. Next week I am going to actually start to go on my walks again and I have been cleared for "other activity". My OB said she would laugh if I had to be induced post-dates and as much as I can see the irony - I don't know that I can see the humor in it yet.
So - I will leave this up to the baby - she has dominated my life before she was even conceived and will continue to do so for the next 18 years or more likely the rest of my life. I have surrendered control - but in waiving the white flag I am still excited beyond words.